Sunday, 30 March 2014
Look, News! & a New Look!
As I announced in my last post, we have some wonderful news :) I am nearly 19 weeks pregnant, and after 3 or 4 months of feeling terrible, exhausted and downright sick, I am now in the 2nd Trimester where, happily, I am feeling much more myself. Which means that I have a head and notebook full of things to do, projects to complete, and things to make...all before this end of August deadline!
To help with my big plans, and so that I am able to share everything with you guys I've decided to get strict with my blog. I would love to blog more regularly than I currently do, but I'm also realistic in that I just can't write everyday. So I'm planning a weekly timetable to keep things fresh and keep me inspired (and hopefully you too).
First week of the month:
'We like to read' You can never have enough books in my opinion, and I believe they are so important when growing up. I'll be linking up with Fritha and other bloggers on Tigerlilly Quinn for this great series celebrating the books we are reading at home.
Second week of the month:
'Work in Progress' I'll be sharing what I'm currently making that month. This could be anything from knitting & sewing, to crafts or even DIY.
Third week of the month:
'Kids Craft Corner' Wiss loves to make things, and likes to show them off even more! We'll be be trying out a wide range of techniques and activities that can be done by, or with a four year old.
Fourth week of the month:
'Ta-Da!!!' I always have such a long To Do list that I thought it would be good to focus on the things that I've actually finished. 'Ta Da' not 'To Do'!
and when there's an extra 5th week in the month I'll be planning something extra special: this could be a guest post, a topical article or anything a little bit different.
Of course I'll let you all know of any This is Wiss news as and when it happens, and I'll try to join in with Silent Sunday whenever I can!
Phew! That should keep me busy for the time being.... See you soon for my first We Like to Read post :)
Friday, 21 March 2014
Screening in Pregnancy and World Down's Syndrome Day
I'm a little late to this debate but I've been wanting to write about my personal experience for ages. It's been a little to close for comfort in the past but I feel that now is a good time.
Last year the controversial '98.6% accurate' blood screening test, developed by Professor Nicholaides of Kings College Hospital, was announced. It was uncomfortable timing as at the start of last year we found ourselves directly affected by the screening process.
I should fill you in a little on my background first. I am a super proud mum of a 4 year old boy, but he hasn't been my only pregnancy. My first ended with a termination for medical reasons when anencephaly was detected at the 12 week scan at Kings. (I wrote about it in this post) Anencephaly is a neural tube defect which meant that our baby was developing without a forebrain. The decision to end this pregnancy was heart-breaking but without a brain, there was no chance that our baby would live outside of the womb.
I had our son in 2010 and then last year, after what seemed like an age of trying I fell pregnant again. Obviously we knew that things don't always go as planned but I can honestly say that we were not nervous about the 12 week scan at Kings at all. We agreed to the Downs testing, as we had before with barely a thought about it. It just seemed like one of those routine questions they ask, almost off-hand, part of the procedure.
The scan was beginning to take a while, but still we weren't concerned. 'The baby is just in the wrong position' we were told. Finally the doctor turned to us and I suddenly felt the sense of doom. We were told our baby had a 1 in 2 chance of having Downs Syndrome, and there was a problem with the development of the heart. Our world came crashing down - again.
We were offered a CVS test immediately to confirm Downs Syndrome and my head was in such a spin I agreed. I wish now we had been given some time to digest the information we had just received, time to work out how we felt and what we wanted our next step to be. But at the time we were rushed into more tests that we would spend the next few weeks troubled by.
We were hoping to come back from the hospital with good news and a fuzzy black and white scan photo but instead we had heads full of questions we never thought we'd have to ask ourselves. We had days and days of conversations we (naively) thought we'd never have to have - if the baby does have Down Syndrome would we be able to cope? What sort of life would it be able to have? How severe would any other health problems be? And lots of 'would it be fair' questions - fair on our son? fair on the baby? fair on us as a couple? even would it be fair on society? Some of these questions seem ridiculous but they were all things we discussed, unwillingly. And at the crux of it all - if the baby was found to have DS what would we do???
During this awful week I turned to the Internet (as you do!) and tried to find out as much as I possibly could about being the parent of a child with DS. I spoke to some truly wonderful mums, who talked openly with me, and of course, I found great information on 'Downs Side Up'. I felt that at the hospital we had not had time to get a fully rounded view of what our 1:2 chance might mean. I desperately wanted a more balanced view so that we could make a better, more informed decision; a decision we already knew from experience that would live with us for the rest of our lives.
Perhaps in light of our previous experience, we decided that we would not be able to terminate this pregnancy if DS was detected. Our first baby had no chance of life, but this baby could live a full and rewarding life. Yes, there would be unique challenges, really tough times and some things would be a terrible struggle, but couldn't the same be said for bringing up any child? I started to question the whole nature of the screening process - if you can medically terminate for DS, then what about other learning difficulties? Would there soon be tests to screen for Autism, or Dyslexia? And what about physical disabilities? Hadn't we as a nation, just cheered, celebrated and thoroughly enjoyed the wonderful achievements of the athletes during the 2012 Paralympics? Are we now saying that their lives are somehow 'less' than an able-bodied person? I was also shocked to realise we were making assumptions about the life of our fetus that was only 12 weeks old and the size of a plum. How on earth can anyone know what the potential for any child is?
I received the results of our CVS test on the phone a week later (had it really only been a week since this all began?) The test was negative for Downs Syndrome...however, they were still testing for Edward's and Patau's Syndrome. Once again I didn't know how to feel and I was caught in a waiting game that I didn't know if I even wanted to be in. While this was going on we went for more detailed heart scans. Unfortunately, the heart was not developing as it should be, and even at this early stage it was clear that the chambers were very deformed. By 16 weeks the prognosis was not good and on this basis alone we made the dreadful decision to end this pregnancy.
Two days after I received the further results of the CVS test - negative for both Edward's and Patau's Syndrome. Just when I thought I couldn't be any more mixed up! Obviously, I still had lots of hormones racing through my body, I was dealing with grief, recovering from the operation and now this. The negative result really didn't mean anything to us by this stage, and my extensive googling meant that I was also aware that the Screening process only tests for the main disorders. In reality a 'negative' is not always the definitive all clear we are lead to believe it is.
As you can imagine, an experience like this changes the way you think about things. I am lucky enough to be pregnant again and at 17 weeks I feel happy with the way things are progressing. I have had wonderful care at Lewisham Hospital and the consultants and midwives have totally respected our decision to refuse any screening tests.
I am not saying that this is the right thing to do for everyone - I totally believe in everyone having the right to decide for themselves and to make an informed decision, but I think in order to do that we must be able to have access to unbiased information at every stage. There is also no need to hurry in making these decisions, nothing has to be done right away. Parents must be given time to digest the information and work out what's best for them. And finally, they should be given full support with whatever choice they make.
I hope that by sharing my story I am adding to the many voices that are questioning this medical 'progress', questioning whether we can have too much information. Society is made richer by all the people in it, not by striving for some kind of 'perfection'.
Today is Downs Syndrome Day and to draw attention to this event people will be wearing colourful socks worldwide. Wear your funkiest socks, share a 'selfie' with #lotsofsocks and donate just £1 via text message. Text: SOCK77 £1 to 70070
Last year the controversial '98.6% accurate' blood screening test, developed by Professor Nicholaides of Kings College Hospital, was announced. It was uncomfortable timing as at the start of last year we found ourselves directly affected by the screening process.
I should fill you in a little on my background first. I am a super proud mum of a 4 year old boy, but he hasn't been my only pregnancy. My first ended with a termination for medical reasons when anencephaly was detected at the 12 week scan at Kings. (I wrote about it in this post) Anencephaly is a neural tube defect which meant that our baby was developing without a forebrain. The decision to end this pregnancy was heart-breaking but without a brain, there was no chance that our baby would live outside of the womb.
I had our son in 2010 and then last year, after what seemed like an age of trying I fell pregnant again. Obviously we knew that things don't always go as planned but I can honestly say that we were not nervous about the 12 week scan at Kings at all. We agreed to the Downs testing, as we had before with barely a thought about it. It just seemed like one of those routine questions they ask, almost off-hand, part of the procedure.
The scan was beginning to take a while, but still we weren't concerned. 'The baby is just in the wrong position' we were told. Finally the doctor turned to us and I suddenly felt the sense of doom. We were told our baby had a 1 in 2 chance of having Downs Syndrome, and there was a problem with the development of the heart. Our world came crashing down - again.
We were offered a CVS test immediately to confirm Downs Syndrome and my head was in such a spin I agreed. I wish now we had been given some time to digest the information we had just received, time to work out how we felt and what we wanted our next step to be. But at the time we were rushed into more tests that we would spend the next few weeks troubled by.
We were hoping to come back from the hospital with good news and a fuzzy black and white scan photo but instead we had heads full of questions we never thought we'd have to ask ourselves. We had days and days of conversations we (naively) thought we'd never have to have - if the baby does have Down Syndrome would we be able to cope? What sort of life would it be able to have? How severe would any other health problems be? And lots of 'would it be fair' questions - fair on our son? fair on the baby? fair on us as a couple? even would it be fair on society? Some of these questions seem ridiculous but they were all things we discussed, unwillingly. And at the crux of it all - if the baby was found to have DS what would we do???
During this awful week I turned to the Internet (as you do!) and tried to find out as much as I possibly could about being the parent of a child with DS. I spoke to some truly wonderful mums, who talked openly with me, and of course, I found great information on 'Downs Side Up'. I felt that at the hospital we had not had time to get a fully rounded view of what our 1:2 chance might mean. I desperately wanted a more balanced view so that we could make a better, more informed decision; a decision we already knew from experience that would live with us for the rest of our lives.
Perhaps in light of our previous experience, we decided that we would not be able to terminate this pregnancy if DS was detected. Our first baby had no chance of life, but this baby could live a full and rewarding life. Yes, there would be unique challenges, really tough times and some things would be a terrible struggle, but couldn't the same be said for bringing up any child? I started to question the whole nature of the screening process - if you can medically terminate for DS, then what about other learning difficulties? Would there soon be tests to screen for Autism, or Dyslexia? And what about physical disabilities? Hadn't we as a nation, just cheered, celebrated and thoroughly enjoyed the wonderful achievements of the athletes during the 2012 Paralympics? Are we now saying that their lives are somehow 'less' than an able-bodied person? I was also shocked to realise we were making assumptions about the life of our fetus that was only 12 weeks old and the size of a plum. How on earth can anyone know what the potential for any child is?
I received the results of our CVS test on the phone a week later (had it really only been a week since this all began?) The test was negative for Downs Syndrome...however, they were still testing for Edward's and Patau's Syndrome. Once again I didn't know how to feel and I was caught in a waiting game that I didn't know if I even wanted to be in. While this was going on we went for more detailed heart scans. Unfortunately, the heart was not developing as it should be, and even at this early stage it was clear that the chambers were very deformed. By 16 weeks the prognosis was not good and on this basis alone we made the dreadful decision to end this pregnancy.
Two days after I received the further results of the CVS test - negative for both Edward's and Patau's Syndrome. Just when I thought I couldn't be any more mixed up! Obviously, I still had lots of hormones racing through my body, I was dealing with grief, recovering from the operation and now this. The negative result really didn't mean anything to us by this stage, and my extensive googling meant that I was also aware that the Screening process only tests for the main disorders. In reality a 'negative' is not always the definitive all clear we are lead to believe it is.
As you can imagine, an experience like this changes the way you think about things. I am lucky enough to be pregnant again and at 17 weeks I feel happy with the way things are progressing. I have had wonderful care at Lewisham Hospital and the consultants and midwives have totally respected our decision to refuse any screening tests.
I am not saying that this is the right thing to do for everyone - I totally believe in everyone having the right to decide for themselves and to make an informed decision, but I think in order to do that we must be able to have access to unbiased information at every stage. There is also no need to hurry in making these decisions, nothing has to be done right away. Parents must be given time to digest the information and work out what's best for them. And finally, they should be given full support with whatever choice they make.
I hope that by sharing my story I am adding to the many voices that are questioning this medical 'progress', questioning whether we can have too much information. Society is made richer by all the people in it, not by striving for some kind of 'perfection'.
Today is Downs Syndrome Day and to draw attention to this event people will be wearing colourful socks worldwide. Wear your funkiest socks, share a 'selfie' with #lotsofsocks and donate just £1 via text message. Text: SOCK77 £1 to 70070
For more information on how to get involved, read Help Us Raise Money this WDSD14.
'for we are all colourful and unique'
I'm back!
After a long break away from this blog I'm back! I've been wanted to blog for ages but it felt as if there was something I had to get off my chest first. That's coming tomorrow - and although the post is a little out of keeping for my blog which primarily concerns itself with crafting and kids, it's a very important subject for me.
I'm also planning that after tomorrow I will be able to blog more regularly and I will be introducing some new regular features alongside the usual This is Wiss news, including linking up with other blogs for 'We Love to Read'.
This blog claims to be 'A bit of Wiss and that...' and on the whole it's all about my making life. Every once in a while 'real' life creeps in and I hope you don't mind.
Tuesday, 31 December 2013
F Off 2013!
So it's finally the last day of 2013 and I could not be happier to see this year go. I'm not a superstitious person but '13 really has been unlucky for some. It has been one long and shitty year - not just for me but for some of my closest friends too - so I really hope there are better things in store for us all in the new year.
I am lucky that through these tough times I have had wonderful support from those dear to me, I've made some amazing new friends and some relationships have become even stronger than I thought possible. I thank all of those people for being there for me/us.
But even when things felt like they couldn't get any worse, life still goes on. And being a mama to our beautiful little boy has never meant more to me than during this year.
Now fuck off 2013, we've got stuff to get on with! Here's to 2014 - may it be a truly good year for everyone.
xxx
I am lucky that through these tough times I have had wonderful support from those dear to me, I've made some amazing new friends and some relationships have become even stronger than I thought possible. I thank all of those people for being there for me/us.
But even when things felt like they couldn't get any worse, life still goes on. And being a mama to our beautiful little boy has never meant more to me than during this year.
Now fuck off 2013, we've got stuff to get on with! Here's to 2014 - may it be a truly good year for everyone.
xxx
Tuesday, 24 December 2013
Merry Christmas everybody!
Blimey! It's Christmas Eve already. I feel like I've lost a week somewhere in December, it whizzed by so quickly. I'm afraid I didn't get round to doing some of the things I'd intended: Wiss had a shop-bought chocolate advent calendar instead of a beautiful handmade one I'd seen on Pinterest (of course he doesn't care at all!!), I haven't found time to blog about our Christmas, and I ran out of time to send lots of Christmas cards. I'm really sorry to all those expecting one. But...
With lots of love from the Tobins xxx
In lieu of receiving a card in the post from us I'm writing this to wish all my friends (in real life and online) and extended family a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful new year too! Here's hoping it's a good one.
Thursday, 28 November 2013
Modern Dolls Houses for Girls and Boys
This post has been in my head for almost a year but with one thing and another it just didn't happen. But now in the run-up to Christmas it seems like a great time to talk about dolls houses. I'm sure Santa will have been asked for one or two already!
I loved my dolls house when I was little; I 'wallpapered' the inside with football stickers but I played with it for years. And now with my job as a modelmaker, I get to build little houses all the time! Maybe because of this, and maybe because I cannot stand all the expensive, very pink dolls houses that seem to be everywhere, I started to think slightly differently when choosing one for our son Wiss.
There are some truly amazing ones on Pinterest (of course!) My board This is Dolls House Heaven has lots of inspiration to get started with. I really like the ones that have been made out of other things - boxes piled up together to make tower blocks, or houses in bookcases or sideboards. And I love that they are not gendered - a house is a house, and can be enjoyed by both boys and girls. Simple.
I bought a Componibili storage unit when we bought our first home. I persuaded my husband that the expensive price tag was worth it because it's a 'design classic'. Stylish and retro yet modern - I soon came to find out that it is actually completely useless too! It is impossible to put anything at the back of the compartments as you can't get to them from the front. Aargh! But it looks so damn cool though.
It found it's way into Wiss's room when we moved house and he started to play with it. Genius! It makes a brilliant 3 storey dolls house with a roof garden too. I printed out images of flooring I found on the internet - tiles, carpet and parquet - and some grass and water to make the garden. I glued them on to card and then stuck them place to make the kitchen, lounge and bedroom/bathroom. We already had lots of Happyland people, and I bought the wooden furniture on eBay.
I love the way that Wiss involves lots of different toys when he plays; we often have the Brio train taking people from their dolls house to work and back, and even Lightening McQueen has popped in for a cup of tea and some cake. You can see some tiny figures that have made themselves comfortable on the roof terrace - scale is not important round here!
If you want even more inspiration then why not ask an architect to design one for you? I'm not sure that all the houses would be popular with kids but there's definitely some interesting ideas in this article from the Guardian.
As always, I'd love to see what you (or even your kids) have made. Where do the dolls in your life live? You can leave me a comment below or tweet me your pictures @thisiswiss.
Thanks for reading! Angela
I loved my dolls house when I was little; I 'wallpapered' the inside with football stickers but I played with it for years. And now with my job as a modelmaker, I get to build little houses all the time! Maybe because of this, and maybe because I cannot stand all the expensive, very pink dolls houses that seem to be everywhere, I started to think slightly differently when choosing one for our son Wiss.
There are some truly amazing ones on Pinterest (of course!) My board This is Dolls House Heaven has lots of inspiration to get started with. I really like the ones that have been made out of other things - boxes piled up together to make tower blocks, or houses in bookcases or sideboards. And I love that they are not gendered - a house is a house, and can be enjoyed by both boys and girls. Simple.
I bought a Componibili storage unit when we bought our first home. I persuaded my husband that the expensive price tag was worth it because it's a 'design classic'. Stylish and retro yet modern - I soon came to find out that it is actually completely useless too! It is impossible to put anything at the back of the compartments as you can't get to them from the front. Aargh! But it looks so damn cool though.
It found it's way into Wiss's room when we moved house and he started to play with it. Genius! It makes a brilliant 3 storey dolls house with a roof garden too. I printed out images of flooring I found on the internet - tiles, carpet and parquet - and some grass and water to make the garden. I glued them on to card and then stuck them place to make the kitchen, lounge and bedroom/bathroom. We already had lots of Happyland people, and I bought the wooden furniture on eBay.
I love the way that Wiss involves lots of different toys when he plays; we often have the Brio train taking people from their dolls house to work and back, and even Lightening McQueen has popped in for a cup of tea and some cake. You can see some tiny figures that have made themselves comfortable on the roof terrace - scale is not important round here!
If you want even more inspiration then why not ask an architect to design one for you? I'm not sure that all the houses would be popular with kids but there's definitely some interesting ideas in this article from the Guardian.
As always, I'd love to see what you (or even your kids) have made. Where do the dolls in your life live? You can leave me a comment below or tweet me your pictures @thisiswiss.
Thanks for reading! Angela
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